Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
