im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
