I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
