Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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