There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
