My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
