well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
