You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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