Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
