i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
