Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
