You're a womanizer and a bitch.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Who did Billy Mays play for?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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