Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You smell like stripper and shame
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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