Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
