i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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