Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
