how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize