New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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