Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize