dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
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You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
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sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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