he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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