Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
