Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
God, I missed his penis.
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