And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
