My friends, they love my intelligence
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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