Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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