Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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