He kissed a someone with a penis
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
