I can tuck mytits in my pants
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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