I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize