thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
