i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
