I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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