your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
