my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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