Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
