I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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