took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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