It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
