It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
