Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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