enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
