that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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