I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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