wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Someone shattered a urinal.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
