My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
