Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
