she looked like the before picture.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
