you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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