Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  dude i'm inner monologue high

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  (909): dude i'm inner monologue high http://tfl.nu/4ebt
  Replies (21) Good night (4216) Bad night (618)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.

  (1-218): View more from Minnesota

  i gets down

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  (218): out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down. (1-218): i gets down http://tfl.nu/usv6
  Replies (14) Good night (3657) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you

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  (517): Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you http://tfl.nu/77p0
  Replies (22) Good night (5303) Bad night (644)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?

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  (305): If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet? http://tfl.nu/k73j
  Replies (22) Good night (1636) Bad night (4839)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

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  (831): I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency" http://tfl.nu/zhku
  Replies (9) Good night (3998) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame

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  (708): Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame http://tfl.nu/f96m
  Replies (14) Good night (1091) Bad night (4164)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.

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  (414): I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome. http://tfl.nu/m7qx
  Replies (4) Good night (3112) Bad night (910)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.

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  (615): The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment. http://tfl.nu/6ofo
  Replies (7) Good night (2057) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.

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  (573): I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon. http://tfl.nu/xp8x
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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  (406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj
  Replies (6) Good night (2068) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.

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  (908): Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more. http://tfl.nu/qarz
  Replies (6) Good night (492) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...

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  (630): I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night... http://tfl.nu/aiyg
  Replies (9) Good night (476) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.

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  (573): Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car. http://tfl.nu/jvos
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.

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  (920): Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable. http://tfl.nu/w3qs
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.

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  (608): I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style. http://tfl.nu/y30w
  Replies (1) Good night (347) Bad night (210)

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