just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does