i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We left the knife in your bed.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.