Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions

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  (408): Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions http://tfl.nu/cic0
  Replies (100) Good night (7080) Bad night (1047)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.

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  (509): i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it. http://tfl.nu/yjzk
  Replies (12) Good night (1026) Bad night (2712) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

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  (337): Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/uobp
  Replies (17) Good night (3652) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.

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  (208): I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked. http://tfl.nu/g0yc
  Replies (13) Good night (4345) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.

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  (678): He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going. http://tfl.nu/db5s
  Replies (20) Good night (4562) Bad night (894) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

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  (405): He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried http://tfl.nu/s324
  Replies (11) Good night (1319) Bad night (1492) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.

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  (402): I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes. http://tfl.nu/zfk3
  Replies (9) Good night (2848) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles

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  (204): Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles http://tfl.nu/rk9c
  Replies (13) Good night (2409) Bad night (840) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.

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  (832): Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control. http://tfl.nu/bxmz
  Replies (2) Good night (1599) Bad night (1132) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.

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  (204): we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please. http://tfl.nu/1hgr
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (1030) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed

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  (562): well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed http://tfl.nu/ggi5
  Replies (13) Good night (1990) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?

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  (504): I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game? http://tfl.nu/ymnf
  Replies (7) Good night (982) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Is that weird?

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  (508): We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am? (913): Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/18nc
  Replies (4) Good night (1001) Bad night (365)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option

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  (734): There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option http://tfl.nu/svkl
  Replies (4) Good night (640) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.

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  (203): Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off. http://tfl.nu/jh7m
  Replies (5) Good night (227) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt

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