Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
