All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.