I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
