apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud