Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me. http://tfl.nu/79qg

Replies (57) Good night (4678) Bad night (1286)
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi. http://tfl.nu/2rin

Replies (15) Good night (1013) Bad night (3806)
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar http://tfl.nu/nzkd

Replies (21) Good night (8534) Bad night (985)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand. http://tfl.nu/9yan

Replies (10) Good night (994) Bad night (3316)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,. http://tfl.nu/tnkk

Replies (14) Good night (3482) Bad night (945)
Favorite
(239): View more from Florida

I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(239): I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real http://tfl.nu/tylh

Replies (5) Good night (4038) Bad night (1166)
Favorite
(954): View more from Florida

You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(954): You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself. http://tfl.nu/qx75

Replies (6) Good night (966) Bad night (3128)
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw http://tfl.nu/sktq

Replies (5) Good night (1111) Bad night (1098)
Favorite
(616): View more from Michigan

Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(616): Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/i5nq

Replies (9) Good night (1415) Bad night (693)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely. http://tfl.nu/gnvv

Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (462)
Favorite
(561): View more from Florida

I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(561): I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly http://tfl.nu/d11t

Replies (12) Good night (851) Bad night (585)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/m69e

Replies (3) Good night (543) Bad night (326)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point. http://tfl.nu/23a6

Replies (2) Good night (287) Bad night (647)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"? http://tfl.nu/g21k

Replies (4) Good night (813) Bad night (244)
Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over. http://tfl.nu/lmyw

Replies (4) Good night (978) Bad night (238)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: