I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You ate ashes out of my bong
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize