it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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