i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
